Changing the conversation: and controlling your outcome

We do it all the time, we do it unconsciously and we’re all guilty of it - getting trapped in negative chat. The way we talk about something, the language we use has a direct effect on how we feel about that thing and what happens next. When somebody asks ‘how’s work’...

and without really thinking about it we’re a bit negative, there’s a little bit of a moan in there, just meh. Maybe it’s when someone is annoying us, or we’ve agreed to go to a party and now it’s cold and raining… it could be any number of things. But it’s really easy to complain about it. And in fact, the very words we are using, the tone of voice they are uttered in, has an impact on exactly what happens next.

Our spoken language and body language is completely interlinked – if we are excited about something, it won’t just come out in the words we use, it’ll be evident in the higher pitch, the speedier pace of how we talk about it, our hands move more, we are lit up. All of these things serve to heighten the mood we are in because we feed off our own energy. This energy is then put to good use when we prepare for this exciting event, we make sure we are on time, we plan to wear the right thing and take the right train. We are in effect determining our own future. By creating this positive energy we are giving whatever this event or project is, the best start in life it could have.

And all of this began with words.

Now imagine if you could - using the same techniques - create this positive energy around other things. Things you might not be looking forward to, things that have been a bit shit. It wouldn’t just make life easier but also much more enjoyable. The words you use and your own body language can condition your brain in to thinking quite differently.

Give it a try… for one day, or even for a couple of hours do not complain or speak negatively about anything. Find another way of expressing yourself, find a positive even in the things you’re not so keen on. Find a challenge or a learning opportunity where once there was just a problem

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we do need a moan. A bit of a vent and time to grump about something. That’s OK too, but then you’ve got to get up, get over it and find a way to turn it around.